You know what’s embarrassing?
Reducing the number of guests for a reservation you’ve made.
[glares at all of you]
Plz, boi. It’s your HALF birthday. Call me when it’s the real thing.
I don’t do DINNER for real birthdays. Will you come fall out of a plane with me?
I know someone who fell out of a plane onto a cow. Tore her ACL and the farmer wanted to shoot her for trespassing. True story.