September 2009
3 posts
I experience a rush of intense emotions
every time I think about the movie 500 Days of Summer. These emotions were even more intense while I was watching it, so I’m really unsure of how I could have possibly survived it.
I feel ecstatic, depressed, dramatic, sympathetic, empathetic, lonely, comforted, philosophical, love, chemistry, butterflies, scared, and confused.
It’s rare that a movie has this sort of effect on me....
Is "asshole" a personality disorder?
August 2009
1 post
Boop
cowpippo:
Thou shall not drunk text the boy you like.
Thou shall not send him dirty messages (he started!).
Thou shall not listen to high schoolers about how to reply to said boy’s messages.
Fuck my life. But I did get a kick out of it.
WHAT BOY!?!?! We really need to talk missy. Things have changed farrrr too much without my knowing about it.
July 2009
6 posts
So maybe I don't hate babies.
dylicious:
Today someone who I’m fond of told me he was having a child with his wife, who I also love. I could barely contain myself I was so excited for the both of them! So, the whole point of this is that maybe I don’t hate babies, I only hate all the people I’ve ever known who have had them. (That’s a joke… sort of. Is there anybody I know on here who has had a child that I am friends...
Also
different in Texas:
Gun Usage: Prevalent. Apparently there could be a few times on July 4th during which you might need to duck and cover because people will just pull out their guns and start firing.
“Sammich” Usage: Often. I say “sammich” instead of “sandwich” for fun, but Texans put it on the menu and even name stores after it.
I'm Baaaack
Just went on a 9 day vacation to Texas (Houston area) to visit my boyfriend’s family. Jersey is verrrryyy different.
Things that are different in Texas:
Trucks/SUVs: Everywhere. Who cares about gas prices and the environment??
Chain Restaurants: Everywhere. Apparently, nothing else survives. They have Sonic, Church’s, Jack in the Box, CiCi’s, and many more I’ve never...
Amazing Craigslist ad →
bous:
I sure hope they were able to find the right one.
Midgets and mexican hats. Nuff said.
cowpippo:
It will end up being a marriage of mutual respect. Not love. Just like what honey brown eyes did with his wifey. I don’t know if I can live the rest of my life on mutual respect.
I wonder if you can live your life never truly experiencing the over romanticized American version of love. Surely your American side says absolutely not.
June 2009
4 posts
Movinggggg
bous:
So yea I’m moving tomorrow and cannot wait for it to be over cuz i’m tired of packing. Hopefully everything works out. Wish me luck
Good Luck! Just think about how I will reward you in the end and things will be much easier :-)
I feel like I might develop a mental illness any...
mburke8:
But that’s okay, because interestless has already gracefully agreed to be my mental health technician.
Yes, I swear to do my duty and get you a toothbrush if you don’t bring one. Also, I will encourage you to be positive and calm you down if you are angry.
“I can’t get in! It’s curved! I can’t find the back holeeeee”
– Seany
Scott: Did you just take your pill with wine?
Me: Yeah... it's not allergy medicine, it's birth control!
May 2009
5 posts
If I was a college professor
mburke8:
I would not test my students on the rote memorization of specific demographics, nor would I offer extra credit that heavily favored only those students who followed college athletics. I wish the Ph.D. was awarded with some complimentary compassion.
I hear the PhD process removes all compassion. It makes no apologies.
Night Owls Work Harder than Early Birds →
wildephotog:
hunsonisgroovy:(via acewepeel)
“Night owls who stay up late and then lie-in the next morning can actually work harder and for longer than go-getting early birds, claim scientists.”
Suck it, morning people!
Too bad society does not cater to us night owls! Most jobs start early. I don’t even have a 9-5 job. I have a 7-3 job. It’s killing me!! It’s because they...
Maya read this!
cowpippo:
…courtesy of Michael Lutin
Sex can be great, and don’t think for a moment that Virgos don’t have just as much hot desire as the next horny soul, because you do. It’s just that sex for sex sake doesn’t mean so much without a deep abiding love. That sort of ecstasy is a gift from the Universe. The only twist is, when you fall in deep emotional waters, you are attached on a soul level, and...
"The Reader" Ought To Be Called "Hey Look At Kate...
(via avedanke)
Maybe you should be because her tits are not that great. Kinda pointy. The movie was pretty damn good though.
April 2009
9 posts
http://imsobadatsex.com/ →
cowpippo:
Maya’s so right. I’m a romantic who doesn’t believe in romance anymore.
Let that be a lesson to the rest of you: Maya is always right.
When will the stress end??
I already know the answer.
The answer is: when I move out of this shithole (my mother’s house) and become a fully independent person with her own life and some measure of control! Get me outta here!!
kthxbye
Tyler: I'm getting vodka.
Scott: Ew. How can you make that taste good for me?
Tyler: Put cum in it.
------MMMmmMMmMM vodka cumshot
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.
Classy.
Class
wildephotog:
I hate watching people flirt.
These two people are flirting in class in front of me. The girl flips her hair, the guy teases her, she giggles, he licks his lips, they exchange glances….then it starts over.
Please just fuck already and exchange STDs.
Imagine watching that at work for 8hrs each day. PUKE
When will Stupid learn
fire’s gonna burn
March 2009
15 posts
“Today, I was walking downtown when a group of teens asked me for directions to...”
– FML:
Really? A priest + FML?
(via notthatkindagay)
Don’t worry, god’s love will fill your wallet.
I Will Teach You to be Rich →
This is the first chapter of a very informative, well-written, and funny personal finance book. A friend sent me this link and I think I’m gonna go out and buy the book because even after the first chapter, I feel much more informed about credit cards and debt. It’s aimed at 20-35yr olds, so it has a lot of solid information for beginners. Seriously, take a look. You won’t regret...
P.S.
Are you serious??? As I was writing you sent me another fucking patient who needs a diaper change every fucking hour!?!?!? FOR REALS???? GROSS.
Fuck you Universe.
Dear Universe,
Why do you hate me so? Why create such a constant struggle?
Why did you have to make me move back home, where I have to battle depression and anxiety everyday? Did you think it would be entertaining to watch me try to reason with the unreasonable? Is it fun for you when my mother makes lists in her head of ways to make me crazy?
And when I am set to move out in June, does it give you an extra...
Quick
wildephotog:
Tips on how to passive aggressively stop your roommates from eating your food. GO!
EDIT: What about frozen food?
I suggest that you put something gross in place of something they typically steal. For example, if they usually use your milk, put spoiled milk in a container with a good expiration date. (Gotcha! You thought I was gonna say semen)
If that doesn’t teach them, at...
johnnyfive:
Asher Roth - I Love College, I know...
Why are there always sexy women with dorky dudes?
youngandrestless:
soace:
ronenreblogs:
dogganghappened:carolyns:secretary:(via betweennowandforever)
Heeey, I like my dorky dude.
ahhh i love dorks
I don’t know the answer to this question, but I am glad to be able to take it for granted.
Nor will I ever seek the answer- something to do with gift horses and mouths.
because in the end, we realize the dorks are the genuine...
You know what's embarrassing?
dylicious:
nickjonaslovesthreesomes:
dylicious:
Reducing the number of guests for a reservation you’ve made.
[glares at all of you]
Plz, boi. It’s your HALF birthday. Call me when it’s the real thing.
I don’t do DINNER for real birthdays. Will you come fall out of a plane with me?
I know someone who fell out of a plane onto a cow. Tore her ACL and the farmer wanted to shoot her for...
February 2009
11 posts
Here's the 411 on the work drams
For those of you who aren’t hip to the groove, 411 = info and drams = drama.
So, A is dating R after D told R that she totally dated A and he was a total A-hole.
A dated D
A now dating R
Clearly, Ms. R never dated anyone at work before because otherwise that girl would’ve had that rule that all women have after dating/hooking up with someone at work, which is: NEVER AGAIN.
Is it...
i need another word for vagina dot com →
Ya know when you’re writing a paper and you just can’t think of a good word for vagina and your word processor is really no help? Well here’s the site for you.
Eeeek
cowpippo:
interestless:
I think I might need to give up one of my friends. The trouble is that she’s supposed to be my wife, one of my bffls.
But when I ask her for something, she’s not there. And when she needs something, dinosaurs couldn’t keep me from doing everything I can to meet those needs.
DINOSAURS
ME?
NO YOU WHORE I LOVE YOU DAMMIT
Eeeek
I think I might need to give up one of my friends. The trouble is that she’s supposed to be my wife, one of my bffls.
But when I ask her for something, she’s not there. And when she needs something, dinosaurs couldn’t keep me from doing everything I can to meet those needs.
DINOSAURS
This morning
I was in a car accident. It was scary. I’m okay, but my car isn’t.
I was at this intersection, facing the same way, going straight. The light was changing as I was about to pass the line, so of course all the people going left were trying to turn before the red light. I was going straight, which of course means that I HAVE RIGHT OF WAY and some douche turning left did not yield to me....